People!

Anonymous Today I fought a battle with a washing machine, and lost. You know those "international," "obvious," "idiot-proof" pictures and symbols that are supposed to tell you what to do even if you're illiterate? Yeah. That's the theory. It might have been the fact that they had been crossed out and annotated with "helpful" hints (see photo), but I probably wouldn't have gotten it anyways. So, keeping in mind that hindsight is 20/20, here's my theory: there are two buttons. One selects a wash/rinse cycle, and the other the spin cycle. They don't automatically happen in sequence, and the washer automatically selects the spin cycle if you fail to notice these buttons and do not make your own selection. Thus, you put in your laundry and detergent, close the scary basket thingy, select the temperature, hit start, and the machine spins your clothes for 25 minutes or so, and then it's done. But your clothes are not wet. Notice shower symbol. Try again; select the rain button. Ok, now your clothes are wet and clean... and did I mention wet? Now your clothes are hanging from all hangable surfaces in your room with the heater turned up after wringing them out in the sink several times. Here's the moral of the story: press both buttons, people! I am here to give you some mantic wisdom, maybe you don't need it, but maybe you will: examine carefully the buttons on all foreign washing machines. Make sure that if there is a "rain" button and a "swirly" button, that you press both, or at least press the "rain" one first, and then the "swirly" one. And remember, there may not be real dryers... so bring a plastic bag and be prepared for a new decorating scheme in your apartment. And remember also that, unless you do laundry naked, you do still have some clothes to wear. Don't think of them as "pre-worn," think of them as "loved." :)

P.S. Thank you to Dr. Ihssen for rescuing my socks etc. from a watery grave, putting them in a plastic bag, and laughing with me over how insanely heavy and WET they were.