We've all seen our fair share of bad romances, from David and Bathsheba, to Brad and Angelina, to Lady Gaga on stage singing her smash hit. But, after a very stimulating and intense conversation at dinner, I got to thinking that the most familiar bad romance is the one that goes on within myself.
This class is all about the self reflection and I'm about to lay it out there. At many points in my life, I made a stop in the land of depression. I know that this is something many people don't want to talk about, especially if they have been there or are currently there. The idea of depression has become one of great shame for people. They feel inadequate and vulnerable all the time. Why in the world would they want to let anyone know what is going on? This idea festers until you can't take it anymore and you finally let your secret fly.
I vacillated back and forth between feeling worthy and unworthy. I didn't like who I was one day and the next I knew that I couldn't be prouder of myself. It became extremely exhausting. I started to wonder how in the world I would continue to keep up with myself. Finally, I decided that I wouldn't keep up with myself. I wouldn't keep arguing it out. I decided that I have great things to offer this world, and I'm not going to let me be my worst enemy.
I think more people go through this kind of bad romance than would care to admit. It's scary; having to face yourself day after day when you don't like things you've done or things that have happened to you. You begin to assume an identity that is not yours; one that was never meant for you to hide behind. Through that, you start to lose yourself. Once you start losing yourself, you start arguing as to who you really are and what you're really worth and before you know it, you have the most real, true, and epic bad romance.
Now, I know that my little snippet makes it seem like I conquered my argument in a very stylish fashion, but it was definitely far from stylish. It took me about 4 years to work through the argument, and sometimes, it comes back for a day or two. This romance is challenging and difficult, as any relational romance is. But it is one we cannot escape. There is no place to hide from your thoughts.
We we all continue to have conflict within ourselves. It's how we process life. But, it doesn't always have to be a bad romance. With some work and tenacity, it could be turned into a very, very, good, romance. :)
This class is all about the self reflection and I'm about to lay it out there. At many points in my life, I made a stop in the land of depression. I know that this is something many people don't want to talk about, especially if they have been there or are currently there. The idea of depression has become one of great shame for people. They feel inadequate and vulnerable all the time. Why in the world would they want to let anyone know what is going on? This idea festers until you can't take it anymore and you finally let your secret fly.
I vacillated back and forth between feeling worthy and unworthy. I didn't like who I was one day and the next I knew that I couldn't be prouder of myself. It became extremely exhausting. I started to wonder how in the world I would continue to keep up with myself. Finally, I decided that I wouldn't keep up with myself. I wouldn't keep arguing it out. I decided that I have great things to offer this world, and I'm not going to let me be my worst enemy.
I think more people go through this kind of bad romance than would care to admit. It's scary; having to face yourself day after day when you don't like things you've done or things that have happened to you. You begin to assume an identity that is not yours; one that was never meant for you to hide behind. Through that, you start to lose yourself. Once you start losing yourself, you start arguing as to who you really are and what you're really worth and before you know it, you have the most real, true, and epic bad romance.
Now, I know that my little snippet makes it seem like I conquered my argument in a very stylish fashion, but it was definitely far from stylish. It took me about 4 years to work through the argument, and sometimes, it comes back for a day or two. This romance is challenging and difficult, as any relational romance is. But it is one we cannot escape. There is no place to hide from your thoughts.
We we all continue to have conflict within ourselves. It's how we process life. But, it doesn't always have to be a bad romance. With some work and tenacity, it could be turned into a very, very, good, romance. :)
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| A rainbow after a very large thunder storm today |
comments:
Megan, thank you for posting this. :)
love you:)
God bless you, Megan.
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